Sweetie pookie doos, let me share a little motherly wisdom with you.
Life is one wise, patient teacher, and every single experience—whether it showers you in joy or knocks you flat on your ass—comes with a lesson tucked inside. But here’s the truth, my loves: you’ve got to want to learn, or life will keep handing you the same homework until you do.
Listen closely when I say this: “A lesson not learned MUST be repeated. So, how do we stop this dayum ride? How do we stop spinning in circles and start stepping into our growth? Come on sugah, let’s sit together at the kitchen table so I can share some lessons that I EARNED not just LEARNED from getting my ass whooped by life.
1. Pause, Reflect and do your dayum SHADOW WORK!
First things first, slow yourself down. Most folks just plow through life, barely pausing to catch their breath, let alone to reflect. But if you don’t stop and take stock, how will you ever see what life is trying to show you? When something happens—whether it warms your heart or breaks it—take a moment to sit with it. Ask yourself:
- What just happened, and how did it make me feel?
- What role did I play in this situation?
Reflection is like holding a mirror to your soul. But, baby, you can’t see clearly if you’re rushing past that mirror at full speed. Grab yourself a journal, meditate, or just sit still with a cup of tea. Truth has a way of floating to the surface when you give it space.
1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
2. PAY ATTENTION, Look for Patterns and Synchronicities.
Life works in cycles. Through CLEAR, CONSISTENT AND CONTINUOUS observation you will recognize the patterns. If the same situations keep showing up—whether it’s in your relationships, your work, or how you feel about yourself—well, that’s no coincidence. That’s a flashing neon sign from the universe saying, “Sweetheart, you missed this lesson the last time, so here it is again.”
- Are you constantly in relationships where you’re undervalued? Maybe it’s time to learn your worth.
- Do you keep finding yourself in the same kinds of conflicts? Life might be asking you to work on your communication or boundaries.
Patterns aren’t here to punish you—they’re here to wake you up. So start paying attention, sugar.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
3. Experience is the best teacher. Get the Lesson!
Now, here’s where the magic starts. Every single experience—whether it feels like a blessing or a burden—has something to teach you. Ask yourself:
- What is this trying to teach me about myself, others, or the world?
- How can I use this wisdom to make better choices moving forward?
Even the hardest moments have something valuable to offer. Heartbreak teaches resilience. Failure builds strength. Disappointment sharpens discernment. But you’ve got to be brave enough to look for the treasure in the chaos.
Let me also mention here that Life or the Universe is not this big bad dictator that intentionally causes negative things to happen in your life just so you can learn a lesson. As I see it, it’s all codes created by choices made directly by you or indirectly experienced by you as part of the collective consciousness.
Proverbs 1:5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.
4. Take Accountability. Some of this shit is your doing.
Now listen to Mama: you can’t grow if you’re too busy pointing fingers. Growth starts with accountability. Ask yourself:
- What could I have done differently?
- How can I make a better choice next time?
Now, sugar, this ain’t about dragging yourself through the mud or carrying guilt around like a heavy sack—it’s about taking your power back. When you own your part in the story, you take the pen into your own hands and have the power to write the next chapter however you choose. Remember that book The Four Agreements we read in our book club? You are the star, the director, and the producer of your own movie. You’ve got the script, baby, and you can rewrite it any time you choose. Why? Because, YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT! That’s why!!
2 Corinthians 5:10
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”
5. Put the Wisdom to Work and Learn your Lessons
Now, baby, here’s the step where most people stumble. Wisdom isn’t just something you keep in your head—it’s something you live. So ask yourself:
- What’s one small step I can take to apply this lesson in my life?
- How can I show up differently next time I face a similar situation?
Begin wherever you can, even if it’s small—just begin. Every tiny step you take is like planting a seed for the future you’re building. Here’s where many folks stumble: it’s not enough to understand the lesson—you have to live it. Wisdom isn’t some pretty decoration to admire from a distance. No, baby, it’s like your Sunday best—you wear it proudly. It’s like your favorite kitchen pot—you put it to work. Because trust me, life will cycle around again, and it’s that hard-earned and well learned lesson that’ll carry you through the next cycle.
Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
6. Release and Give Thanks. Attitude of Gratitude
Once you’ve learned the lesson, it’s time to let the experience go. Don’t carry the weight of it longer than you need to. Say to yourself:
- “I honor this experience for what it taught me, and I release it with love and gratitude.”
Now, listen here, baby—when you’ve made it through the fire, and that lesson has finally shown itself, it’s time to lay that heavy burden down. Holding on to old pain, regret, or bitterness? That’s like Erykah Badu said in Bag Lady—dragging all them bags like that is gonna break your back. You can’t keep carrying all that weight and expect to move forward freely. Life is too precious, and your heart is too beautiful to be weighed down by what no longer serves your spirit. Let it go, sugar. Pack light, because your journey is calling, and you’ve got brighter roads ahead.
Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
7. Keep Growing
Here’s the thing, my loves: life will never stop teaching. You’re not meant to get everything perfect the first time—none of us are. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And, at my big ol’ age, I am still leaning into this. Some days are better than others.
Life’s lessons are what shape you into the strong, wise, beautiful soul you’re meant to be. So don’t shy away from them—embrace them. And if you find yourself stumbling more often than you’d like, just remember: “Every stumble is a step forward—just make sure you rise wiser than you fell.”
Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
And finally sweetie pookie doos, just remember, life ain’t about dodging the hard stuff—it’s about learning how to dance through it with grace, wisdom, and a whole lot of faith. Every challenge, every heartache, every unexpected twist in the road is shaping you into the powerful, wise, and unshakable being you were always meant to be.
Growth is an ongoing journey. You ain’t gotta have it all figured out today. Just take one step, apply one lesson, and trust that you are being guided exactly where you need to go. Be patient with yourself. Show yourself the same love and understanding you so FREELY give to others. And above all, trust that no experience is wasted—everything is working for your highest good.
So, take a deep breath, straighten your crown, and keep walking forward. Because you, my loves, are not just surviving this life—you are mastering it.
Now, tell me, sugars—what lesson have you learned that changed your life for the better? Let’s talk about it. Drop a comment, share your wisdom, and let’s keep growing together. 🌿✨
Love ya!
Mama SunFiyahh 💛🔥